Have a little faith in me

Hi Everyone!  Well...it's the day before my birthday and like every birthday I've had past the age of 25 I always do a little life reflecting of how each year is different from the one before.  I turn 28 tomorrow, officially in my late 20's, and I have to say that 27 has been one of my most challenging years.  A lot has changed and a lot has stayed the same.  This past year I have had many thoughts about religion....yep go ahead and click out of this blog if free speech offends you or just bores you.  I've never been much for religion, the idea of it confuses me and most of it sounds a little ridiculous.  I don't personally pray, in fact I don't think I have since I was like 6, because it makes me quite uncomfortable most of the time.  With that being said, my husband is religious, not like crazy person religious, but he does have faith and I respect him for it.  Awhile ago I asked him if it bothered him that I didn't "believe" the way he does and his response was the most heartbreaking and romantic thing I've probably ever heard from him.  He told me that he hoped someday I would be open to it because he wanted to be assured that when we were both no longer alive that we would be together in the same place.  I was speechless, I had never really looked at it that way.

Most of you reading this already know that we have been trying to have a baby for well over a year now and it's just not happening.   I feel like a lot of times people have kids because that's just the next step. So I made a decision a long time ago that if I ever was going to be a mother that I would make sure I truly wanted to be.  So of course the last 15 months has felt like one big test.  A test of my marriage, my strength, my patience and even my so called faith.  Which is where religion comes in to play.  For the first time in my life I get it.  Having faith in a  higher being and being able to "talk" to them comforts people, it makes them hopeful, it reassures them, as my husband said.  I've realized that life is difficult because it was meant to be.  If it were easy people would take things for granted and have nothing to look forward to.  Maybe our life plan is much bigger than falling in love with the right person and having your shit together. Believing in that makes me a little more hopeful for our future.

 I challenge everyone reading this to end their day by saying one positive thing that happened that day.  My advice is to wear your difficult times proudly because in the end they have a way of making you a better person. And if your going through a tough road, read the Alchemist...that shit will change your life, lol.

Until next time..."It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting." Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist